In a crisis

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A strange thing about me is that I can totally turn my emotions off and do what I have to do in my own crises – I can be cold and cruel at times, although it’s been a couple years since I’ve had to go into “forsake morality; ensure survival” mode. I generally end up having to deal with my own intense psychological and emotional fallout afterward… it’s terrible to go through. However, it’s ultimately taught me to avoid getting into those type of situations…I can see a lot of things coming now that I couldn’t before. I used to be so innocent and trusting, and I used to get so hurt and thrown when people disappointed me or stepped out of line in some way, but I take it in stride more, now that I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, and definitely more worn-out.

However, if one of my friends gets in a crisis? I get super emotional and illogical and have to fight the urge to take some overbearing action to work toward fixing their situation. I’m learning to respect people’s boundaries more, and honestly, the people that win the most points with me now are people that tell me that they appreciate that I care, but tell me to back off and let them handle their business.

Competence. I appreciate it.

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