In the spirit of complete openness, my mindset has gone down the crapper. How and why my mentality changed is because of too much time alone and speaking to old friends, but I’m eyeing up the gas can as a potential form of amusement. I will attend regular meetings again because it’s a positive change I can make without throwing my life into an upheaval again. I’m in a “dry drunk”, though, and it’s no fun for anyone.
It’s a blessing my hookups are in the city, most don’t drive, and the few who drive have decided going 53 miles out to the middle of nowhere in winter is not worth it.
Lessons learned: Too much spare time kills me; Nostalgia kills me; I am not meant to live in the country., the biggest threat to my life is me.