Starting from day zero again…

Comments 12 Standard

I relapsed again last night until the early morning. It wasn’t serious, and there’s no real “fall-out” from it, just another bump in the road to sobriety. Part of me wants to beat myself up, but the other part realizes it was a small thing. I’m in a situation I’ve always found difficult to maintain sobriety in, and I’ve got boredom and emotions pouring out of me. This is one of my danger zones, lol. All that matters is how I respond to it, and I think my response so far has been appropriate.

It’s probably better that it happened quietly at home instead of with city folks – that would have been much more of a crisis. I did get some poetry out of it, lol. I gained willingness to do what I need to. I knew what I needed to do, but something got lost between knowledge and action again.

I’m glad that I’m finally willing to do what I need to instead of just knowing and goading myself about it, but I thought I was further ahead in my sobriety than getting intoxicated because I was sad and bored.

I told a couple friends – it was difficult admitting this happened at first – still is, but honesty is important. this is something that I can’t shove in a shoebox and forget about… I recently messaged my old sponsor asking if she could take me to NA…I hope she can fit it into her schedule.

12 thoughts on “Starting from day zero again…

  1. It’s taken me 25+ years to get 18 so it’s all part of the process. Seems you know yourself and knew you were in a slippery place. I know I could not stay sober, in my current circumstances 17 years ago. I have developed the attitude and know better what to do than I did then.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve heard that there are many slips before you find your sure footing. Being honest about it is another step in the right direction. Hang in there. You can do it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your willingness to be honest is so key here. And you called your sponsor — another great move! By hiding, I could slip below the radar and slide for decades. You are handling this a lot more maturely than I did, until recently.
    Hang in there. ; )
    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, well, since you know what got you into it, maybe you could just try to think back and see what might have kept you away from it. Next time keep that handy which will keep you away. Best to you and here’s to your Future!🍜 (hot stuff and healthy) 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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