So, when someone around me relapses, I turn into the gooeyist chunk of motherliness that ever lived. My main approach is a) assure person of their essential worth and dignity, b) assure them they are not alone, despite the fact they might feel like it (text me whenever! Let me google all potentially relevent information!) c)encourage positive change aka get yourself to a meeting.
I never felt particularly supported or cared about when I was out on my ass in addiction, so always felt like if someone would have sat me down like that, and did some emotional hand-holding, I would have at least appreciated it.
Problematically, I’m not sure if this approach works with men, because let’s be honest, every time I get “I relapsed” message out of the blue, it’s a dude. My approach is traditionally is responded to with “Awww, shucks, I got high again” sooner or later, and ends with me being high and super-frustrated about life within two weeks. I’ve seen this happen enough times.
Lol, I think I’m asking the internet for the permission to start responding to this with “You’re being stupid, go to a meeting, get yourself a sponsor before I hurt you.”
It’d be more of a relative slap in the face (did I mention my general lack of aggression and the fact that my cold and austere exterior hides a gooey chocolate filling?) and maybe not require me to nurse the self-wounding so much. It’s not as if I’ve completely lost my sympathy, but I just feel like my approach could be refined. Also I’m starting to want to beat asses, and my anxiety just sky rockets around hard drug users now. See a few people die, and you just wanna stop messing around with people who treat themselves like garbage. If that’s the best they can do for themselves, they probably can’t do better for you, either. Also the anxiety and lose of my time. Somebody gets high, I’m out half my day minimum, up to a month of my life.
Like, some guy was trying to get sober, right? I’m a total introvert with well, at least kind of a life and I was totally continually there for him. Fastward like, three or four weeks later, I’ve relapsed, and dude relapses and tellls me it would hurt my feelings to know how inconsequential I am to him. That’s the one story that just, like, caps them all.
I am not nearly getting back the energy I expend in attempting to keep other people clean. I need to stop before there’s a “Men Who Have Relapsed” section in my next set of resentments.
Oh, ouch. Yeah, that’s already a thing that’s going to exist. Let’s say I don’t wanna make it any longer.
You know what? The next man that tries to suck me into his relapse is getting a pitchfork in the foot outside of a recovery club, so he instantly learns to stop leaning on me and start leaning on other people in the program. Maybe I’ll time this right after a mens’ meeting so this all works out perfectly.