March’s Vibe: Don’t Be a Hard Rock When You’re a Gem, Baby Girl.

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(I still can’t comment. 😦 )

I’m a co-dependent/sex-addict/drug-addict/alcoholic/food-addict…Can we just call me an All-Purpose Addict? Because I’m feeling that label.

But I’m sober and working the steps, getting an education, staying around good people & being as much as a respectable adult as possible.

You know who rocks? Sober people, but right now let’s celebrate females for surviving this world. There’s something mind bending and life affirming to finding people of your own gender who’ve gone through the same experiences and survived.

Dear female friends: You are the angels on my shoulder, cause God knows without you I just do stupid things to up my dopamine levels and run around with stupid men and wonder why I’m sleeping in laundromats, or piled up blankets on the floor and on the good nights,  $45/night hotels.

I had this realization a while ago:

  1. I have way more options available to me in almost any area of life than I imagined.
  2.  I need a man that brings me up, not drags me down. I need a leader, lol, or someone that walks beside me. I’m kind of a traditional female in a lot of ways, but I have a very strange past. I limited myself to addicts thinking they were the only ones who would get me, and you know what? That was stupid as hell and unnecessary. No more Captain Ms. Save-a-Ho. Nice, functional men like me. Time to like, pay attention to these guys and not pick the ones my low self-conception dictate to me.
  3. This would only come after a long period of being single, lol.

No more complicated men.

But anyway.

Idk, I’m just full of love tonight for the world, sobriety, addicts in and out of addiction, women, and myself.

 

The soul selects her own society,
Then shuts the door;
On her divine majority
Obtrude no more.

Unmoved, she notes the chariot’s pausing
At her low gate;
Unmoved, an emperor is kneeling
Upon her mat.

I’ve known her from an ample nation
Choose one;
Then close the valves of her attention
Like stone.

-Emily Dickinson, teaching us that we can be selective about our friends/lovers.

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