Sobriety Week 5: Is delayed withdrawal a thing?

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Sorry that I haven’t been around much or commenting much lately, I’ll catch up when I’m feeling better.

Props to past me for getting a sponsor and pre-planning posts.

I’m 40 days sober. My relapse was brief, and was on spice (k2/synthetic marijuana), bath salts, various psychostimulants, and alcohol.

Everything besides alcohol was new to me, so basically I consumed a bunch of weird chemicals unknown to my body in a short period of time. Yeah, okay, yelling at me NOW isn’t going to help.

As far as I remember, I didn’t really have much of an acute withdrawal besides a couple days of moderate headaches/mild emotional weirdness. Pretty much assumed that was going to be all I had to deal with.

Over the last week I’ve been sick, but kind of in a vague, annoying-at-worst way. Headache, nosebleed, tired, but can’t sleep, weird nightmares when sleeping etc.

I was drinking somewhere between a pot and two pots of coffee a day since I got sober, and stopped on Thursday, I think.

This changed on Friday, basically all weekend I’ve felt like I’m in acute withdrawal, and if this is caffeine withdrawal, what the hell, dude:

*general sweatiness

*periodic cold sweats

*continual sleeping/endless exhaustion

*random episodes of heart pounding/can feel pulse in my neck/ forehead/general feeling of abnormally high blood pressure. My blood pressure generally is on the low side of healthy, sometimes it dips a little too low. this is the one thing that freaks me out the most.

*nosebleed has gone from annoying to “i might die from this”

*severe irritation/crying/depression

*alternating states of severe nausea with intense hunger. i spend 1/4 of the day feeling like I need to run into the bathroom, 1/4 of the day feeling like I could eat an entire pizza, and 2/4 of the day somewhere between the two.

*diarreha

*mental fog/forgetfulness/new weird habit of making really weird linguistic errors

*speaking of mental fog, my sense of time is really screwed up in a way that only happens to me in early meth withdrawal. Something could have happened two minutes ago, it will feel like it happened two days ago to me. Something could have happened in the last hour, and I’m not sure if it happened today or last week.

*complete withdrawal from everything that isn’t taking care of my cat.

I know P.A.W.S. (post acute withdrawal syndrome) is a thing, but my experience with it in the past is more like being visited by the ghost of withdrawals past than what’s going on with me right now.

9 thoughts on “Sobriety Week 5: Is delayed withdrawal a thing?

  1. I know it won’t be much consolation if I point out that what you’re going through is perfectly natural in early sobriety, because it still sucks, to put it extremely mildly. But these chemicals mess with us in ways we don’t notice at first because the initial break of the habit(s) and all that goes with that sort of pushes the more subtle effects into the background. The extreme unhealthiness you feel is a side-effect of your body and mind getting healthy. A time will come, and I predict soon, where you will find yourself with a clearer mind than ever and a body that cooperates with your state of mind. That’s when you’ll know that all of this horrible shit you’re going through was your individual trial by fire, so to speak, and viewing it from the other side is like paradise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for this. This whole experience is more intense than I expected – I was sober for a year before i relapsed, so I wasn’t expecting to really wind up in hard-core early sobriety again.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know if those symptoms are from caffeine withdrawal or not. I gave up coffee some twenty years ago but I did it gradually. Half caf and and half decaf..then quarter to three fourths and then no caffeine at all. Before I gave it up, if I didn’t have those first few cups of coffee first thing in the morning, I would get a screaming headache.
    I agree that eventually, it will get easier. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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