Sorry that I haven’t been around much or commenting much lately, I’ll catch up when I’m feeling better.
Props to past me for getting a sponsor and pre-planning posts.
I’m 40 days sober. My relapse was brief, and was on spice (k2/synthetic marijuana), bath salts, various psychostimulants, and alcohol.
Everything besides alcohol was new to me, so basically I consumed a bunch of weird chemicals unknown to my body in a short period of time. Yeah, okay, yelling at me NOW isn’t going to help.
As far as I remember, I didn’t really have much of an acute withdrawal besides a couple days of moderate headaches/mild emotional weirdness. Pretty much assumed that was going to be all I had to deal with.
Over the last week I’ve been sick, but kind of in a vague, annoying-at-worst way. Headache, nosebleed, tired, but can’t sleep, weird nightmares when sleeping etc.
I was drinking somewhere between a pot and two pots of coffee a day since I got sober, and stopped on Thursday, I think.
This changed on Friday, basically all weekend I’ve felt like I’m in acute withdrawal, and if this is caffeine withdrawal, what the hell, dude:
*periodic cold sweats
*continual sleeping/endless exhaustion
*random episodes of heart pounding/can feel pulse in my neck/ forehead/general feeling of abnormally high blood pressure. My blood pressure generally is on the low side of healthy, sometimes it dips a little too low. this is the one thing that freaks me out the most.
*nosebleed has gone from annoying to “i might die from this”
*alternating states of severe nausea with intense hunger. i spend 1/4 of the day feeling like I need to run into the bathroom, 1/4 of the day feeling like I could eat an entire pizza, and 2/4 of the day somewhere between the two.
*mental fog/forgetfulness/new weird habit of making really weird linguistic errors
*speaking of mental fog, my sense of time is really screwed up in a way that only happens to me in early meth withdrawal. Something could have happened two minutes ago, it will feel like it happened two days ago to me. Something could have happened in the last hour, and I’m not sure if it happened today or last week.
*complete withdrawal from everything that isn’t taking care of my cat.
I know P.A.W.S. (post acute withdrawal syndrome) is a thing, but my experience with it in the past is more like being visited by the ghost of withdrawals past than what’s going on with me right now.