#1 Know the Morality of Those Around You

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Oh dear. Lol. You’re so the opposite of a criminal.

-best friend

 

If you’re friends with a kleptomaniac, it’s best not to ask him to house-sit for you.

 

I am not really a true-to-the-core criminal, or look like what most would think of when it comes to as a criminal. What I mean by the first part is that I don’t enjoy hurting other people or winning perceived power games against them. I feel like most crime happens because people are in a bad spot financially or they’re into weird power games and would make good CEO’s. I’ve never even stolen during the duration of my adult life. I stole mascara once in middle school and cried for a week. That kind of stuff is too thick for my blood, so to speak.

I am technically a criminal because I violated social and legal constructs. I managed to do it without legal consequences, but the behavior still happened. How I managed to psychologically reconcile myself with what I was doing was due to my belief that a) individuals are sovereign over their bodies, b)illegal is not the same as immoral, c) justified it to myself that I wasn’t selling anything I wouldn’t use myself. At this point, I’m more receptive to the fact that certain behaviors are harmful to society as a whole and lead to chaos in the life of individual.

I’m assuming you’re something close to this yourself. That said, a lot of people in the world aren’t like this, and they don’t come with warning labels, and a lot of them hide really well. When you’re putting another person in a position of trust in your life, you need to know how they’re going to fail you or cause you harm, and if this is something that you can either guard against or bear. Maybe you might decide that this is the kind of person you don’t want in your life, and you need to figure out how to cut ties hard and fast without making a mess.

 

In the case that you decide to keep this person in your life, don’t put them in a position that tempts them into whatever their problem is, and don’t think because you two are so close that they won’t hurt you. Most of the time they won’t, but it seems to be a rule in my life that when I really need someone to not do something, this is the exact moment they decide to go rogue on me. Watch for that in your own.
There’s no real litmus test for certain behaviors, but I’ve noticed if someone stresses how much they don’t do something, or if you notice their actions not matching up with their words, it’s best to err on the side of pessimism. If you have a friend that hates when people gossip, but tells you every screwed up thing that everyone else in her life is doing, it’s probably less like you’re her best friend, and more like the rest of her friends know every screwed up thing you’ve done since you’ve met her.

One thought on “#1 Know the Morality of Those Around You

  1. Good advice! Well written, and it feels pretty deep coming from someone who “been there, donethat” like you, if I may say such a thing

    Liked by 1 person

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