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Chris Christie, you’s a man beast
I love it when you yelling at me on the TV
With yo white shirt, is that a taco stain?
I’ll give you cookies if you promise that I’ll get laid

It’s like she knows the struggle of 30-ish dating, either I’m too intimidated and reject myself from his life, or I have to explain that, yes, I’m in school, and no, it’s not grad school, and yeah, basically don’t ask what I’ve been doing for the past ten years, either, or uh….basically, if it goes anywhere, he has a crippling drug problem or makes me super-insecure about our ability, as a group, to not need some kind of chemical to function.


That’s why they tell you not to date in early sobriety, probably.

I refuse to go back and try to fix my grammar, ’cause I don’t even know where to start.

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