- Thank the person who started this tag (Luna) and link the blog back!
- Answer the questions the person has set up for you! (#7 Stays The Same Forever!)
- Tag some peeps back who you think or know are not in a relationship or have a crush!
- Post your favourite picture you have on your desktop! (idk why just do it XD)
Do you a movie/book crush you wish was real:
Hm. I don’t think I really think about characters in that way, this is weirdly difficult for me. I don’t read/watch a lot of romance-oriented media, so mostly all I can think of are disturbed male characters that would be good to have conversations with and get high with.
Seriously, the best I can do here is bring up Todd from Bojack Horseman. Tod is really sweet and good-natured, but also lives on his best friend’s couch, ambitionless to the point that even I’m a little worried, isn’t the brightest bulb in the drawer, seems like the ultimate pothead, and is asexual.
That’s like, more like the type of guy I spent my mid-twenties with (minus the asexual componant) than someone I would theoretically get involved with now.
I’m moving around way too much, and just have too much internal/external stuff I need to work on to want to be in a relationship.
What are some problems you think come with relationships:
Oh, dear. Trust and communication issues, mainly.
Trust issues: Dated a guy who was once stabbed by an ex. Used to think the woman was crazy, now I want to hang out with her and compare war wounds. The guy hit me, cheated on me, lied to my face, made shit up about me, ate more than half my drugs, and generally just fucked with my ability to live a calm, orderly life.
He was a good lay though, so he had that going for him.
But uh, my point is here that since then I’ve had a really hard time opening up to anyone and extending trust to potential romantic partners. I really need to work on that before I get involved again.
Communication: I’ve been called an ice princess before. I tell people that there’s a problem, or going to be one, but apparently I don’t communicate the point strongly enough. Then they do whatever, and I’m pissed off and don’t want to talk it over, so I shut down until I can be calm, and mostly now I just rage-quit unless there’s something worth saving or I’m just completely goddamn guilted into a painful, soul-sucking slog.
I feel like I’m super-giving, and then people take advantage of it so long and so hard, give nothing in return, and wonder why I just fucking disappear. I am required to teach adults how to be human beings? Is this in my job description somewhere?
I was in a pretty fast scene for a while, so I was in a lot of impulsive, poorly planned relationships for a few years there. Like, seriously, not trying to diss myself too hard, but it just seems like my “standards” for a couple years there boiled down to: funny, uses drugs, and good in bed, has been in my life for a minimum of three hours.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to have less issues in life now that my social life isn’t just random long-term drug addicts.
Still bitter, though.
Would you ever want to have a kid:
Eh….My partner would have to have a healthy family and be pretty stable for this to happen. My family’s pretty unhealthy, and I don’t have a good track record for stability. I’ve moved more in the last few years than most people probably do in twenty years. I don’t want to subject a child to what my life’s been like so far.
Do you like to write poetry:
Do you want to get married/ be in a relationship:
Eh…If someone worth commiting to enters my life.
Do you think romantic love is worth everything and you should give up everything for it:
I used to be an overly-idealistic “love conquers all” type, grew up with a very Catholic viewpoint and was totally ready to spend my life being a good wife to someone, and then life happened.
So, under most circumstances, no.
Your friends are worth it, though.
Are you in a relationship/have a crush or are you a lonely bean like me:
I have options, but there’s way too much baggage, and I feel like getting involved with anyone of these guys is basically like choosing between which drugs my life is going to revolve around a minimum of three months down the line.
So…basically I have feelings that I pretend don’t exist, because I’d rather spend my money on rent, going to school, saving for a car, and occasionally doing dmt/random hallucinogenics. If I could not be living with friends, living in a crack motel, living in a homeless shelter/car, and other questionable situations for the rest of my life, well, that’d just be great, wouldn’t it?
Lonely bean for life.
My Favorite Picture:
My Nominees Are:
The rest of my forever alone bloggers (you know who you are!)