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Things are still good, but I’m having a momentary emotional downturn.

Some of the men here are super aggressive- I was waiting for the bus outside work, a random guy started talking to me, which is all well and fine, but he went in for a kiss and forcibly fondled me…this was a few weeks ago,, I I guess?

Then on the bus, some guy started talking to me and told me I’d make a perfect mother and wanted to have a child with me.

None of this is rape, obviously, but it’s really disturbing to me that I’m encountering this type of thing frequently and it always happens while I’m in public, not in a situation I knew was stupid…

Oh God, so literally,ran into some crazy guy when I was still living downtown, now I accidentally live about five blocks from him. He’ll literally chase me down on the fucking street.

Like, I’d consider myself average at best at this point in my life, I have no clue why this is such a fucking ordeal. I own a stungun and pepperspray now, neither of which I really want in my life, but I have to walk through a dark alley at night. I don’t know, a concealed carry permit might not be a bad idea…my coworker talked to me about it after the bus stop incident…

I don’t know. I have lost at least thirty lbs since I moved here, but it’s mostly from lack of appetite, so I can’t get too excited, haha. My mobility is much better, if I have problems with my legs, it’s going down the stairs for maybe the third or fourth time a day. That’s pretty exciting for me, obviously, I started out the year in a wheelchair.

Otherwise I’ve given up on trying to date for the moment. Either the guy freaks me out, or I come up with some kind of disaster scenario in my head, or I’m so afraid of talking about my past that I literally stop talking to him.

Also I really love being alone right now. My life is hiding in my apartment listening to weird music when I’m not at work or going to some kind of event.

Otherwise I still love my job.

I’m pissed off at myself because I forgot to eat before work again, today, and had to leave three hours early because I was exhausted, had an escalating headache, and was moving from nausea to vomiting.

Then I got home, ate, took a nap and was totally fine an hour and a half later.

Goddamnit, me.

Um, still trying to make friends. I have like 2 here, maybe three, if you count my work Buddy who now has different breaks than me.

I still love this city and moving here was the best decision I’ve made in a long time, but I am so stressed right now. I’m making more money than I usually do, but I literally moved down here with two pairs of pants, so I’m getting stuff in my apartment piecemeal. I’m friends with a wonderful woman named Amy who is helping me with this, totally above and beyond, really, but I don’t like feeling like a charity case, lol.


3 thoughts on “Bleh

    • It’s mind blowing. I knew sexual harassment was a more thing in larger cities, but this happens to me at least a couple times a week. It’s not always awful, but I’m basically your average 30 year old woman going to work/buying groceries at the time. Like what alternate universe have I wandered into? Ugh.
      Thank you. This city does have a lot going for it, despite the problems it has.

      Liked by 1 person

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