This is an actual feeling!
I finally connected a bit and more actually felt this…after a couple yearsor so of being basically emotionally dead with 2 emotions, anxiety and depression, it’s pretty nice.
We’re meant to love each other, damnit, life is a dead slog without it. It doesn’t have to be romantic, just more…feeling like a part of the human race.
I’ve started volunteering at the library, its nothing major, just a monthly Memory Cafe for older people and their caregivers, and the east side library needs help with gardening…
Pride is next week, I’ve never been to a big city Pride event before. And I have a full week off work, which is appreciate the hell out of. Paid time off, you are amazing.
So I’ve found a local event buddy that’s more into intellectual stuff and my brand of like, fearful exploration and oh god, it’s good to be alive and connecting with someone on shit that isn’t chemicals and oh god, this is a mood swing, isn’t it?
I can’t project into the future with things so much, but it is good to know that there’s still trustworthy people left on this planet. Like, more than the one person. Cause my best friend still rocks, obviously, but I swear I just mentally went into some kind of schizoid distrust of everything including the integrity of humanity, myself, and my bone structure.
Um…life, it doesn’t always suck.